


It's Just a Bro Thing

by Loloshroom



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Panic Attacks, The f slur is used once, Theres Child Abuse for a scene, at the very begining, then its gone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-12-23 16:43:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11993823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loloshroom/pseuds/Loloshroom
Summary: Ryuji always loved girls. Girls were… The best. That is all there is to it. He was a man, and as a man, he had to woo them.





	It's Just a Bro Thing

**Author's Note:**

> I love Ryukita

Ryuji always loved girls. Girls were… The best. That is all there is to it. He was a man, and as a man, he had to woo them. Liking boys was out of the question. There was no way he could ever like a man. He is not  _ gay. _ There is no way he would be a fag with the way he was raised by his father.

* * *

 

Ryuji remembered the coldness of the kitchen tile flooring. It was almost like ice. He remembered the words he had said to spark the fire in his father’s drunken eyes.

“Dad, there was a new boy at school, he looked  _ cute. _ ” Ryuji meant that in the most friend way possible. The boy looked like a teddy bear came to life, a button nose and bright dark eyes that seemed to shimmer and invite anyone to hug them. Of course, that set his father off, yelling slurs and hitting Ryuji across the face. His father had waited for his mother to go to bed before returning to the attack.

Ryuji felt a foot collide with his stomach, causing him to cough up something. It tasted metallic. Blood.

* * *

 

Ryuji shook his head. All he had to do was make it through his last class today and then he could return to hanging out with everyone. It sucked, being the only person he knew in his class again, but it was fun seeing Futaba run around aimlessly as a first year. Makoto and Haru stuck around the area for college, so they could all still hang out after school.

Of course, it was not the same without Akira.

Once the bell rang, Ryuji practically ran out of the classroom and bolted out of the building. All he wanted to do was relax and be with his friends. He did not dare think about the thoughts that occupied his mind during last peri-

“Oh, Ryuji. You’re here surprisingly early.” Yusuke was already seated in LeBlanc. He had settled down with a cup of Sojiro’s signature coffee and seemed to be drawing something on his sketchbook. Ryuji knew that particular sketchbook had a rainbow sticker on it, the word “pride” on it. He had gotten it almost a year ago, during the Hawaii trip in second year. There was no way Yusuke could have gotten something in Japan, with the country being the way it was. Ryuji never understood how open Yusuke could be about that stuff.

“Yeah, how could I not be? First day of summer! I hope Boss doesn’t mind if i just stay here forever.” Ryuji winked at Sojiro, who just rolled his eyes. Ryuji sat across from Yusuke watching him as he drew. Ryuji understood that he did not want to be watched over his shoulder, so Ryuji made do with studying his face. The way it scrunched up in concentration, and how focused and serious his eyes were. Every once in awhile, Yusuke would look up, and their eyes would meet. Ryuji would look away, Yusuke would chuckle, and then they would return to their business. He knew it was rude to stare, he really did, but it was hard not to when Yusuke was the only thing that was really moving near him. 

The bell chimed, signalling the arrival of Ann and Futaba. Ann pouted at Ryuji, and pinched his cheek hard, “I told you to wait for me!” She scolded him, Ryuji crying out in pain and rubbing his cheek. Futaba just chuckled at him. Of course they laugh at his expense.

“Uh, excuse me. It’s summer, and I wanted to enjoy it to it’s fullest. Cut me some slack mmkay?” Ryuji folded his arms and rolled his eyes. Ann just scoffed,

“Yeah, sure.” She dragged out the ‘u’ and Yusuke seemed to hide behind his sketchbook.  _ Wait what _ . Ryuji shook his head, ignoring the fact that he knew what someone he was not even looking at was doing. Futaba and Yusuke immediately got into some sort of heated debate about the formation of the feathermen, and Ann and Ryuji talked about their finals that they totally flunked.

Ryuji was thankful to have Ann as a friend. Of course, Ryuji had considered dating her, but he never found too much of an interest in her romantically ever since they first met in like, middle school. And that was forever ago at this point. Now Ryuji had been without someone to chase after for a while now. He considered Makoto, but then her and Haru started dating and he backed right on off.

Why was everyone in this gosh dang group not straight except  _ him _ ?!? Ryuji sighed, after Ann realized he was not going to be paying attention to her she just started talking to Futaba. Eventually Mishima joined them, looking as nervous as them. Finally, someone Ryuji could talk to without making him freak out. Honestly, Ryuji had no idea what set him off. Maybe the teacher was talking about homosexuality and how it was essential for a species to grow, since the couples would adopt babies that would get abandoned.

Not that he was paying attention in class anyways.

Eventually everyone’s conversations died down and the group was just sitting in a comfortable silence. No matter how much he was looking forward to the summer ahead of him, he could not help but feel a pang of sorrow. He was not sure how he was going to make it through the rest of the year without Akira. Even though he had only been there for a year, the boy had meant so much to Ryuji. It sucked, but Ryuji knew it was the best this way. Everyone was happy and doing their own thing.

Ryuji bolted up, his chair flying back and falling over, “I’m going for a run.” He blurted, and turned around, ignoring the confused and concerned looks from everyone in the group.

“I shall accompany you.” Ryuji was certainly not expecting Yusuke to offer to come. He was hoping Ann would join so he could vent his feelings out onto her, but maybe Yusuke would be a good person to talk to. After all, he was already accepting himself.

Ryuji and Yusuke jogged together, eventually reaching the ever familiar park that Ryuji had come to know and love. Yusuke leaned on the fence facing the lake, and Ryuji could not help but stare at him. The afternoon sun was bright, and even though Ryuji hated that art crap Yusuke would go on and on about (that Ryuji could listen to for forever, not that he would tell anyone) this would probably be a good painting. Ryuji was about to keep it as a mental image when Yusuke turned to look Ryuji directly in the eye. He almost looked sad, and it only puzzled Ryuji.

“You run when you’re stressed about something right?” Yusuke asked slowly, “What happened? Ann told me to talk to you so I-”

“Ann told you to come?” Ryuji groaned internally, he would have to talk to her later. She can read him better than he thought, “Look I…” Ryuji’s mouth screwed up as he searched for the words to say. For once he thought before he spoke, “How are you comfortable being yourself?” Yusuke only gave him a confused look,

“I don’t understand what you mean.” 

“Look!” Ryuji yelled, he did not notice how tense he was, how tightly his fists were clenched, “You’re able to so easily come to terms with how you are. What with… That.” Ryuji pointed to his sketchbook, hoping Yusuke would understand, “How do you do it?!” Yusuke bit his lip, looking at Ryuji. His eyes seemed wide, almost afraid. Was Yusuke afraid of him? Why?

“Well, are you… Gay?” Yusuke asked, his voice calm, “I mean, why do you ask? I’m comfortable with how I am because it’s just… The way I am. Why bother being in denial?” Ryuji’s mouth twitched, and then he screamed, causing Yusuke to stumble backward. Ryuji yelled until his throat felt raw, keeling over and collapsing onto his knees. He did not know what he was screaming. He was not mad at Yusuke. He was mad at his dad, mad at Kamoshida, mad at Shido, mad at Madarame. He was angry at everyone who hurt anyone he ever got close to.

He was mad at himself for screaming at Yusuke and making him afraid. He was mad at himself for getting angry at Morgana for no reason. He was furious with himself for being so dumb. Why was he so stupid? Why why why whywhywhywhywhywhyw

Yusuke hugged him. At least, Ryuji thinks Yusuke did. Ryuji could not see, he did not notice he was crying. However, he did notice the warmth that encompassed him. And Ryuji hugged back. He sniffled into Yusuke’s shirt, and the two of them sat there, hugging. Not a word was exchanged between the two of them. Just the occasional sniff from Ryuji, the song from birds and insects, and the rustle of trees. 

After a while, Yusuke whispers in the sweetest and the most gentle way to Ryuji, “Are you feeling better.” 

“Honestly? No. I still feel like shit and i can’t figure anything out. I can’t like guys because if I do that makes me disgusting a-”

“Am I disgusting?” Yusuke asks, voice now afraid again, and Ryuji wishes he could die right there on the spot,

“No!! God no. You’re…” The first word Ryuji wanted to say was gorgeous, but that is a little stepping over the bro line, so he goes to the next thought, “You’re great Yusuke. I couldn’t ask for a better friend.” That earned a chuckle from Yusuke. Ryuji smiled, and slowly pulled away from Yusuke. The two were still kneeling, and they just stared at each other. Yusuke had a small flush on his cheeks, probably from Ryuji almost making him cry, what an asshole.

“So then why would you liking guys make you disgusting if it doesn’t make me disgusting.” Yusuke asked, placing a hand on Ryuji’s lap. Ryuji’s face turned pink (because he had been crying, obvi) 

“Well I mean…” Ryuji thought for a second, pursing his lips, “I guess… It doesn’t change anything. I mean, I’m already gross…” Ryuji was quiet. Admitting that seemed to take a weight off of his shoulders, “I probably like boys. Probably a lot.” Ryuji took a deep breath, “And… My dad can’t do shit!” He smirks, causing Yuske to laugh quietly.

“But, you know, you aren’t disgusting.” Yusuke said quietly, and handed Ryuji his sketchbook. It was open to a particular page. Perplexed, Ryuji looked at it, and gawked. The page was covered in drawings of him. Sitting in the cafe, jogging, keeled on the ground. They were anything from quick barely recognisable sketches, to full on portraits. Ryuji looked up and was greeted with a new experience.

A kiss. It was short and sweet, and kind of missed Ryuji’s mouth, but the meaning was still there. Yusuke Kitagawa, gave him a peck on the corner of his mouth. Ryuji blushed, hiding his face in the sketchbook, before remembering it belonged to Yusuke and gave it to him, “Sorry I-” 

“You’re fine, Yusuke.” Ryuji says, “I’d be down for a date in the park in a few weeks, if you’re up for it.” 

“I would love to.”

* * *

 

Ann laughed, when she saw Yusuke and Ryuji walking back into the cafe, hands yanking away from each other.

“Futaba, you owe me 500 yen.”

**Author's Note:**

> HIT ME UP ON TUMBLR @loloshroom AND YELL ABT RYUKITA W/ ME


End file.
